Have you missed me? I’ve missed writing. I began downsizing and organizing my home over 2 years ago. The reason’s two-fold; making life easier for those left behind following my death, and carving out more writing time (I’ve posted links below to prior posts). I’m so close to reaching my goal. Last month I decided to work solely on this project surmising I would accomplish my goal by October 1. On that date ready to write at will. My excitement growing, I anticipated writing an outline for a devotional. Be still my heart.
Every time I’m close to devoting time to writing something goes awry. Writing gets placed on hold while I deal with the latest crisis. As you’ve probably surmised, I hit yet another bump. In football terms; I got sacked! I’ve been sacked so many times, that this past week I asked the Lord, “Am I playing in the wrong game?”
I got a lot accomplished those first couple weeks in September. Goalposts in sight I could almost hear the roar to come following my touchdown. As October grew closer the challenges started. Last week something popped, causing severe pain in my ankle (the leg and ankle severely broken 2 years ago). The pain quickly subsided down to a dull roar and each day has improved; for which I’m grateful and praising God. For a person with CVID each trip to a doctor’s office (which is scheduled today), is a risk and I avoid hospitals like the plague. I’m praying everything’s okay; no major issues. Yet, knowing something’s not right, brings fear to the forefront, thinking, here I go again.
I can hear my non-believing friends asking, “If your God is the one who gave you the desire to write these blogs, why is he not thwarting the devil’s schemes and life’s cruel happenings? Why is he not protecting you?” To be perfectly honest I’ve had some of those similar thoughts. I’ve wrestled with many, many questions this past couple of weeks. The Lord and I have had some difficult conversations. There will be more to follow I suspect. Life just doesn’t seem fair. But then who ever said it was supposed to be?
When I look at some of the great heroes of faith I see a bumpy challenging game called life. Here’s the kicker. They weren’t born with faith; they learned it through challenging, troubling and life-altering moments. We cannot comfort someone struggling with the death of a loved one unless we have a sense of how that loss feels. It’s difficult to relate to someone in great physical pain, unless you too have experienced pain. If one grows to adulthood in a healthy, loving home, nurtured and loved, it’s challenging to grasp the dynamics of a fully dysfunctional home; a home where one learned to survive betrayal from those who were to love and protect. It’s in these moments faith grows. Seems ironic I know. How does faith grow when one is busy wondering where the heck God is? Yet, it does.
I surely don’t know all the answers. Having one’s faith stretched to its limits is uncomfortable and at times painful. Spiritual growth is like football in some ways. A player at the beginning of the season starts training for the games ahead. He is sore, his bones hurt and every muscle in his body wants to rebel. There isn’t a part of his body which doesn’t ache. But, by the time the games begin, his body is prepared and ready to play. Each training session is different, some harder and some easier.
Unlike football, the game of life doesn’t pause for the season. It is a day-to-day never-ending game. God allows the challenges and trials of this life to play out their course, not because he doesn’t love me, but because he does. My faith, muscles are being built so that I’m able to finish my final season of life, strong and ready. I’m in training for the ultimate “Super Bowl”.
Once in the game a quarterback never wants to be sacked; it hurts both physically, mentally and emotionally. Yet, he knows those times will come. He also knows there’ll be times of great joy. Times when he’ll throw the ball high into the air, watch it soar as if being carried on wings, landing in the arms of its intended target and ultimately scoring a touchdown. A quarterback lives for those times and believes in those times. If he didn’t he would quit soon after his first sack.
Yes, I got sacked, but I’m not out of the game; I believe touchdowns are coming.
Until next time,