CVID – Common Variable Immunodeficiency Disease, those words didn’t roll off my tongue so easy a few weeks ago. I’m slowly making peace with them. CVID, a rare disease for which there is no cure. Bottom line… my immune system cannot fight off germs or viruses. The Doc says, “It’s like having an army full of tanks with no bullets”. While not curable there’s treatment, somewhat scary, overwhelming and not without risks; lifelong, weekly, infusions you learn to give yourself. This disease does not ever go away, nor does it ever go into remission. It’s your pal for life.
What causes this disease? There’s not enough data to say unequivocally, therefore the answer is, “We don’t know”. There’s the possibility of a genetic link, but more fact gathering must take place (translation: more people need to get this disease). I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Is there more than one treatment available? Nope. What are the risks? Some are minor and some life-threatening.
My diagnosis came straight out of the blue. It was a major, “Wind-Knocker” of a curve ball. “Wind-knockers”, such as this one, are where the rubber meets the road between your faith and what you truly believe; way down deep where it counts. It’s easier to talk about faith, to write about faith, when the road you’re traveling isn’t too bumpy, too hilly, or to curvy. It’s easy to have faith; it’s easy to believe, when the road has a small bump or two, and just enough curves and hills to make the journey an adventure.
I journal my prayers, my conversations with God almost every day; today, I took the opportunity and re-read some of the thoughts and Scriptures the Lord has brought to mind these past couple of months.
- May 20th – Zechariah 4:6, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord”.
- May 21st – 1 Peter 1:7-9, “so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”
- May 22nd – I Peter 1:13 “Gird your minds for action. Sandra, prepare! “Fix your eyes, your hope completely on the grace”. Fix as in fixate (to think upon something constantly to give all of my attention to…) at the end of my time in prayer the song, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” flooded my thoughts.
- May 26th – 1 Peter 4:12, “Do not be surprised [Sandra] which comes among you for testing……
- May 30 – 2 Peter 1:2-4, “Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us [Sandra] His precious and magnificent promises.
- June 1 – 2 Peter 3:17 “You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard so that you are not carried away by the error of unprincipled men and fall from your own steadfastness, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
- June 2 – Nahum 1:7, “The Lord is good a refuge in times of trouble, he cares for those who trust in him.”
It’s a comforting to see God’s at work in one’s life! God’s been preparing me for battle. Yes, it’s a battle on all fields; spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally; make no mistake.
There’s a danger in taking only parts of Scripture for study. Please keep in mind I shared these excerpts to show the pattern in my prayer time with the Lord; personally intended only for me. I would love to share the full context of the passages and my journal in complete dialog and thought. How the Lord used each of these passages, within context, to speak too, to develop and encourage my character to be more like his. Perhaps I will do that in upcoming blog posts. To do so now, would make this blog post miles too long 🙂
June 1st ushered in a new, life altering, season of life. I’m not done figuring out all the ins-and-outs and nuances of this journey. I suspect they will be revealed as I walk hand-in-hand with the Lord. The important thing for me to remember, God has gone before me, is with me in the present, and has the future figured out. It’s not my battle to fight. My job is to trust and rest in the arms of the one who knit me together in the womb.
Until next time