The other day I read a blog by a woman, which was very well written. In essence, she wrote a letter to the young gals who sent or posted inappropriate pictures to her teenage boy’s phone or Facebook page. As a family they have regular “roundtable” discussions. It appears they also do a quality control check on their boy’s phones. The article was written in response to items the parents discovered at one of these meetings. In her article, she states, “We have teenage sons, and so naturally there are quite a few pictures of you lovely ladies to wade through. Wow – you sure took a bunch of selfies in your skimpy pj’s this summer! Your bedrooms are so cute! Our eight-year-old daughter brought this to our attention, because with three older brothers who have rooms that smell like stinky cheese, she notices girly details like that. I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra. I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout. What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.” She goes on to say, “And now we have to block your posts… And so, in our house, there are no 2nd chances with pics like that ladies. We have a zero tolerance policy.… With our sons online, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your post decent. If you post a sexy selfie (we all know the kind), or inappropriate YouTube video – even once – it’s curtains. I know that sounds so old–school, but we are hoping to raise men with a strong moral compass, men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-schoolgirls.” (See blog site listed below to read full article)
I applaud her for her strong sense of moral code, ethics and parental boundary setting.
I went back to reread the article as something was gnawing at me. I realized it’s the words no 2nd chances. I totally understand her position and I wholeheartedly applaud this parent for her initiative in taking a stand. Way to go! But no 2nd chances….. hmmm
Many young girls and young boys today are losing sight or are not being taught the sensual side of purity. Our society has a bent towards the provocative, hormone driven, visual stimuli (the more visual the better it seems) and instant gratification when it comes to sexual pleasure. You see this in every aspect of life; advertisements in magazines, commercials on TV, movies, books, it’s everywhere and we’ve become desensitized to the continual indoctrination.
My son is now married with a life of his own. Yet, I can tell you my response to the girls who came with a different set of morals than I would have preferred was pretty much the same as this mother. Although I did not have Facebook to contend with as it had not been invented. On the flip-side I taught our son the value of respect towards women; compassion and understanding. I taught him to walk in another’s shoes before casting aspersions while maintaining and keeping healthy boundaries. For the most part my son is very respectful, kind and compassionate.
What about no 2nd chances? If I had my son’s teenage years to do over, I would take time to invite those young gals into my home. I would spend time getting to know them, their life, their personalities, their background, etc. I would invite them to spend time with me, doing things together in an effort to teach them the value of purity and what it might look like in practical everyday life. I would share how shame sneaks up on a person and soon becomes the hidden motivation behind many of their future actions and decisions. I would share how one momentary mistake does not need to ruin the rest of their life. I would share respect for self. I would help them understand their great worth and value; they are a treasure. I would share others will not respect you if you do not have respect for you. I would teach them what respect is and is not. I would help them to have respect not only for themselves but for others too.
No 2nd chances – I am so grateful I serve a God of 2nd chances. I am grateful. I serve a God of compassion, forgiveness, mercy and grace. If I were faced with helping my son to grow into a moral man of integrity who respects women today I would set those strong boundaries as I did back then; just like the woman in the article. I would go one step further, however, by inviting those girls into my life in an effort to make a difference in theirs.
Until next time,
The article is excellent and I encourage you to check it out. http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/