Struggling with my writing career I decided to take my struggle to God, this morning. I cried out saying, “I am so confused, I am filled with doubts and fears… very unsettled; I hate this!” “I don’t know which way to go.” “Lord, what are you calling me to do with this gift?” Should I continue blogging? Should I focus on writing Bible studies? What about an actual book? If an actual book should it be a devotional, a memoir of my life with You at my side; a book on fears which stem from my dysfunctional growing up years, or something entirely different? Or is it to be none of the above? Was my writing to be only for a season?” In utter frustration at not hearing an answer, I cried, “Why can I not seem to distinguish your voice from all the other voices in my head?” “Why is this becoming so complicated God?” “Why can I not hear you? Oh, God help!” God’s answer was simple and to the point, “How can you recognize my voice when you don’t spend time listening?” “Sandra, you have forgotten the sound of my voice.” “Lord, how could I forget the sound of your voice when in the past I knew it so well?”
I love God! I love His tenderness and I love His mercy. He gave me a beautiful word picture today. My mother passed away over 5 years ago. Because of my husband’s job we moved a lot after marriage. As a result I never lived back in the same city or vicinity as my mother. Other than a yearly visit, our life, our relationship with each other, was mostly an audible one. We shared our life via the phone lines. A couple years after mom died, I deeply yearned to hear her voice; I missed her so much and I could no longer clearly remember her voice; I wanted to hear it once again and tuck it away.
It is this way with any friend you don’t talk to on a regular basis; their voice, over time, becomes dimmer. The difference between a living friend and my mother, is when my living friend calls, in a matter of moments, I will recognize their voice! So it is with God. When I set the distractions of life aside, open my Bible and spend time reading His Word, praying and listening; His Spirit speaks to my heart. His voice becomes clearer and I am able to distinguish, recognize His voice above all others.
Time for some voice lessons 🙂
Until next time,
When he puts forth all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. John 10:4