January 7, 2012
In a recent post I shared how I reread the journal of the previous year and sometimes 2 or 3 years back. Around the year 2008 God began giving me a word or phrase for the year. That word or phrase often becomes the area in which I am challenged and character is fine tuned. It’s interesting to look back through those years to see how those words played out in my life. Please understand as much as I would like to tell you I journal regularly and faithfully, the truth is I have many days, weeks and sometimes months of blank pages. I have enough, however, to see the handiwork of God. I have enough to see the successes and the growth as a result of walking with Him hand-in-hand, day-by-day. I also have enough to see the failures (those times I didn’t walk so well with God, and the times I simply forgot or chose to ignore God’s instructions to me along the way). And lest I be forgetful, my journaling has helped me see the work of the enemy in my life. Those times were Satan, “bless his little heart”, has gotten a grip and a foothold because I was unaware, or simply allowed him because of my own, hate this word …. sin… nature.
For instance last year I had two words, Grace and Relationship. In 2011, even though my journaling was extremely hit and miss, I can clearly see the thread of grace in relationships. In 2010 the word God gave me was relationships. That year I felt God calling me to be more intentional in my relationships; deepening those I already have and starting a new ones along the way. I learned some good lessons along the way and have some new relationships as a result. 2011 was sort of a continuation of 2010 with the word Grace thrown in. Interesting thing about relationships, in order for them to blossom into all they are meant to be, they must be covered with a whole lot of grace; grace for them and a huge portion of grace for me! 2011 was a wee bit rocky in the relationship area and many a tear was shed as I learned and grew in grace through my relationships. Those 2 words grace and relationship are also significant in my relationship with God. I’ve come to recognize just how much grace is a part of my relationship with God; that He gives it to me lavishly. I on the other hand don’t always receive it (more on this at a later time).
This year’s word is actually a phrase “Faith over Fear”; now may I just tell you that phrase brings a certain amount of fear to my heart. I have struggled with fear my entire life; many of you who know me will be very surprised by my last statement. But it is true. In fact I think if I was to be truthful with myself, I would have to say, “I am a fear based person”. May I just say, “I HATE IT!” When I think of how many times I have missed out on something that may have been really good and a huge blessing because of my own, and very often unfounded fear; I feel very sad. Perhaps this is the year that God and I together change that. My heart cries out hallelujah and at the same time it begins to pound, and a knot begins to grow from somewhere deep within.
Until next time,