I ended my last blog with more questions than answers, “Is it God I don’t trust”, “Is it me I don’t trust”, or a combination of both? I can’t help but wonder, not necessarily for the first time, where does my faith come into play.
By definition the Bible says that … “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Again, I find myself with more questions than answers. This passage is about belief in an eternity with God. Faith of what we hope for – an eternal life with God and obviously, since I am still on earth, is something I do not see. On that premise I do have faith. I do believe there is an eternal life that awaits me and even though I cannot see it, I am certain it exists. As I look more into the issue of faith I sense that faith is all about the person; in this case Jesus Christ. Faith is not so much about the actions of life. In other words my faith is in the person of Jesus Christ; my trust is in the character of Jesus Christ. In other words I believe in Jesus. I believe He is the Son of God. I believe He came to earth in the form of a man. I believe that He died so that I could once again have a connection with God and a hope for an eternity with God. I believe He not only died but that He rose again and now resides with God sitting at Gods right hand. I believe that God loved me enough to allow His son to die for me. I believe that Jesus loved me enough to die for me. I believe that the Holy Spirit now lives within me and helps me to be all I can be for God.
I no longer have any doubt about my faith. My faith is strong. But, as for the trust issue, I have come to realize that it is an on-going process. Trust is a learned behavior. There are many facets to my character just as there are many facets to God’s character. God is character = provider, healer, comforter, guide, protector, just to name a few. Each time I trust God in an area and He is faithful to meet that need I grow more spiritually and am able to trust God a little more. If I was to have a ruler that measured my trust factor there would be room for more growth in those areas, but I would also see great growth in other areas of trust.
Where I need to grow is in the trusting that the voice I hear is Gods. I need to trust a little more in me! It all comes down to my biggest major struggle that of fear. I am so afraid that I will make a mistake and choose the wrong course of action that I become paralyzed and do nothing. It is the fear of making a mistake, choosing the wrong course of action, etc. and then having to deal with the consequences of those wrong actions that cripple me. More on this at a later date “))
All of this only leads me to more questions. How can I be trusting in God and the character of Jesus and be filled with fear? The answer, I believe, is I can’t. So, then the question that must be asked is “How do I overcome the fear so that I can allow the trust to grow”? Obviously I can’t do it all on my own, or this would no longer be an issue. The answer should be “Give my fear to God” …. And while I agree with that – “How do I do that in real life and not just in theory”?
While I still have more questions, I have some answers too. I have learned that my faith is strong, that trust isn’t an either or; learning to trust is a journey, a process, as I grow in my understanding and experience of God’s true nature and character so will my trust level.
My muddy waters are becoming a wee bit less muddled. Remember in an earlier blog I shared with you about the seasons of life. That we are born in the spring of our life, then we hit the summertime, and then we hit the fall of our life and of course then comes winter. And that within those seasons we have seasons – seasons within seasons. I wondered if the muddledness was a result of changes taking place or if I was entering the Fall Season of my life. I have come to realize that Fall Season of my life has arrived. And to tell you the truth I have been fighting it tooth and nail. I have come to realize that as I am fighting this stage of my life I was also fighting God’s leading in my life. Once I realized this I had 2 choices, keep on fighting or make the choice to embrace this new time of my life and find joy in the journey. I am choosing joy in the journey! I am looking forward to embracing all that God has for me in this season my life. While I still am a wee bit foggy on just what all this will look like. I am excited to be right where I need to be doing what I need to be doing.
Until next time – Be encouraged